What would you do if someone called their wife a derogatory name while you were out socially? This is the challenge I was asked about recently. The individual in question was drunk and had been ‘joking’ in this vein with others in the group. One person in the group said something along the lines of ‘settle down’ but it was …
Shrinking from the Light
You might be doing everything right, be perfectly nice- yet people will still dislike you. This can happen for a plethora of reasons – including that your light makes someone shrink from you. They might complain about others and be frustrated that you won’t join them. Perhaps they are angry and resent your calmness despite sharing the same challenges. Or …
Indecision
I’m usually a decisive person, so when I recently couldn’t decide on an apartment, I became concerned. Why was I experiencing so much angst over this? After all, I’d made far bigger decisions than this quite confidently. If you’ve ever experienced indecision, you know how paralyising it is. Waking up in the night, endless pro and con lists and that …
All Aboard the Change Roller Coaster
No matter how much personal development you’ve done, some changes feel like you’re on a personal roller coaster. You swing from the high of ‘oh wow, it’s really happening’ to ‘oh no, what on earth am I doing’. It’s what I experienced after I decided to move to Fiji. At first, I was excited. Then I started to pack up …
Do It Your Way
A few years back I was eagerly scooping up any advice that came into my social media feed. I signed up for free webinars, downloaded the PDFs of hot tips and did free courses, eager to discover the ‘special sauce’ so many promised would get me results. But the results didn’t flow. Maybe I missed a step? Perhaps I needed …
Where Are You Spending Your Time?
Busy. It’s the new buzzword. It suggests purpose, importance and belonging. But how much of this ‘busyness’ is really effective? Being busy all the time doesn’t mean you are making progress. You could be spinning around in circles, tiring yourself out, and achieving zilch. To test whether you’re a busy but not necessarily effective bee, look at how …
Don’t Get So Defensive!
We often detect when someone is slighting us or trying to make us look bad, and respond to it in kind. However, some of the smooth snakes might respond with: ‘Gee, don’t get so defensive’ or a comment in a similar vein. Now, maybe you are being unnecessarily defensive. But in many cases, you may be justifiably sticking up for …
Sandy’s Bullying Experience
I’ve been working with Sandy, a lovely young woman who is being bullied at work. Now, I’m not talking about appropriate direction or correction. I’m talking things like: Refusing to teach her how to use an invoicing system and making her call the supplier for training so she ‘learns it the right we, because we use shortcuts’. Then getting angry …
Boredom Can Be a Good Thing
Is this how you’re feeling right now? You might have sat down at your work computer for ten minutes before opening your emails, then waited another ten minutes before reading them. Or, you might have seen the family off to school and work, looked around the house and felt your soul leave your body at the thought of doing the …