Ask, Receive, Rant

A while back I answered a query in a group.

‘What’s your experience on (insert social media platform here)?’

I responded.

‘Really?’ Came the reply.

Wow, I thought when I read it. You asked for feedback, and when I give it to you, you question me about it?

This puzzled me until I read through the responses. When someone said they had no luck with the platform, the querant gave an enthusiastic reply along the lines of ‘I’m so glad, me too, that’s what I wanted to here.’

When I read that last line, I knew all I needed to about the situation playing out.

The querant was looking for affirmation of their experience, and not genuinely seeking information about other people’s experience- whether they realised that, or not.

The issue here was that the request wasn’t written to achieve the desired information – giving life to what I call the ‘ask, receive, rant’ cycle.

How do you ask the wrong question?

This can happen for a number of reasons. Not thinking the request through clearly is common. Everyone is busy, and when the pressure is on, crafting a message might not rank high on the priority list. Another issue is trying to couch a request behind lots of ‘padding’ to appear polite/avoid offending/coming across as aggressive. I used to do this a lot! But after spending more time clarifying my requests than it took to pen them, I realised I needed to change my style.

Danger zone

You run a few risks when you don’t nail your questions properly:

  • You don’t get the information you need.
  • You upset or frustrate those who reply to you. ‘Hey, I answered your question. I’ve got things to do too, you know!’
  • You risk getting feedback in future. ‘Well, last time I helped her out she bit my head off. I’m not going back for more of that!’
  • You go back and forth clarifying your request, which wastes the time of everyone involved.

None of this helps you with your business or your image!

How to nail your questions

One approach that can help is to capture your request in three lines. For example:

  • I’m looking for feedback/your experiences/advice
  • on x
  • Because

This approach helps you signal exactly what sort of reply you want – advice, feedback, whatever the case may be. You then clarify the topic, and give a sense of the context. Context is valuable because it helps people laser their response for your situation. It also helps you confirm in your own mind exactly why you are asking the question in the first place! ‘But why would someone ask a question when they aren’t sure why they’re asking it?’ Touche, but as my example shows, it does happen.

Go forth and question confidently!

I hope this tip helps you avoid the ‘ask, receive, rant’ cycle! I’d love to hear how this approach works for you, and any similar experiences you might have had to my group experience!

Here’s hoping you are acing your queries, and getting flooded with quick replies each time:)

Darcy xo

Comments 40

  1. Whoah this weblog is excellent i like reading your posts.
    Stay up the great work! You already know, lots of individuals are searching round for this info, you could aid them greatly.

  2. Thank you for any other informative web site. The place else may I get that kind of
    info written in such a perfect manner? I have a undertaking that I am just now
    operating on, and I’ve been on the glance out for such information.

  3. You really make it seem really easy together with your presentation but I
    to find this matter to be really something that I think I might never understand.

    It sort of feels too complex and very large for me.
    I am taking a look forward on your subsequent post, I’ll attempt to
    get the cling of it!

  4. Excellent goods from you, man. I have understand your stuff previous to annd you aare just too great.
    I really like what you’ve acquired here, really like what you’re stzting and the way in which you say it.
    You make it entertaining annd you still take carre oof to
    keep it wise. I cann noot wait to read much more from you.
    This is really a wonderful site.

  5. An intriguing discussion is worth comment. I think that you need to publish more on this subject, it may not be a taboo subject but usually folks
    don’t talk about these issues. To the next!
    Best wishes!!

  6. I’m not sure where you’re getting your info, but great topic.
    I needs to spend some time learning more or understanding
    more. Thanks for magnificent information I was looking for this
    information for my mission.

    my homepage health (Kourtney)

  7. Greetings I am so thrilled I found your website, I really found you by mistake, while I was searching on Yahoo for something else, Anyways I
    am here now and would just like to say thanks for a tremendous
    post and a all round enjoyable blog (I also
    love the theme/design), I don’t have time to read
    it all at the minute but I have book-marked it and also
    included your RSS feeds, so when I have time I will be back to read a lot more, Please do
    keep up the superb job.

  8. I have been browsing online greater than three hours nowadays, yet I never found any fascinating article like yours.
    It is lovely price enough for me. In my view, if all
    webmasters and bloggers made good content as you probably did, the internet might be a lot more helpful than ever before.

  9. Hello There. I found your blog using msn. This is an extremely well written article.
    I will make sure to bookmark it and return to read more
    of your useful information. Thanks for the post. I will certainly return.

  10. This is the right blog for anyone who would like to find
    out about this topic. You understand so much its almost tough to argue with you (not that I actually will need to…HaHa).
    You certainly put a new spin on a subject that has been discussed
    for ages. Wonderful stuff, just wonderful!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *